"LESS THAN EQUAL VOTES"

A Memo From the Desk of Karl Rove
The Republican Road to our Republic’s Renaissance

TOP SECRET - for your eyes only

From: Karl Rove

To: All Republican Operatives

Subject: Campaign Strategies

Date: October 24, 2006

For victory in the upcoming elections, the following are recommended courses of action:

I. If you don’t have the facts in your favor,

A. Outspend them. We have plenty of super rich who owe us big time.

B. Never agree to a genuine old time debate with the other side.

C. Never answer the actual questions asked by the other side or the press.

D. Bribe the press with money or access.

E. Intimidate or threaten the press who cross us.

F. Never admit mistakes or uncertainty.

G. Stick to simplistic unprovable sound bites.

H. When flip flopping, accuse the other side of doing so.

I. Pound them with meaningless “culture” issues.

J. Claim you are a Christian.

K. Change the meaning of the words.

L. Play the fear card.

M. Attack the character of the opposition rather than their positions.

N. When necessary, lie. Or, better yet, get someone else to lie for you. After all, they probably won’t catch it until it doesn’t matter anymore.

O. Consider useful dirty tricksters.

P. When caught, claim the other side does it too and worse.

II. If you don’t have enough voters, keep the naive demogrunts on the other side from voting.

A. Ask the NSA for useful data obtained by data mining and spying on the other side and other traitors.

B. Destroy or freeze funds of unions and consumer protection groups and agencies or jail or discredit their leaders.

C. Purge the voter lists.

D. Create language, reading or intelligence pre-requisites.

E. Change district boundaries and polling places.

F. Send police to intimidate.

G. Threaten deportation.

H. Prevent the other side from using telephone trees and buses.

I. When necessary, lie about voting rights.

J. Consider useful dirty tricksters.

K. When caught, claim the other side does it too and worse.

III. Cheat on the count.

A. Use Diebold paperless voting machines when possible and he will take care of the rest.

B. Use confusing ballots.

C. Fight on interpretations of how it is marked.

D. Lose ballots, ballot boxes, and totals.

E. Intimidate or eliminate poll watchers from the other side.

F. When necessary, lie about number.

G. Consider useful dirty tricksters.

H. When caught, claim the other side does it too and worse.

IV. If a recount is likely, make it difficult.

A. Make it expensive.

B. Make it slow.

C. Make it illegal.

D. Use Republican appointed judges.

E. Don’t recount if at all possible.

F. When necessary, lie about the findings.

G. Consider useful dirty tricksters.

H. When caught, claim the other side does it too and worse.

V. If the recount goes against us,

A. Stack the appellate court with beholden Republican judges.

B. Declare a national emergency.

C. Suspend habeus corpus, jail dissidents without counsel or trial and torture if necessary. (Already accomplished.)

D. Amend or ignore the Constitution.

E. When necessary, lie.

F. Consider useful dirty tricksters.

G. When caught, claim the other side does it too and worse.