“CONGRESSIONAL CAPRICE”

Or, A Page about Congressmen

Question: How can you tell if a Congressman is just?
Answer: Surely you jest? The question should be - just what?

Question: How can you tell if your own Congressman is just a pedophile like Foley?
Answer: You can’t. Odds are your Congressman also an adulterer, pathological liar, sociopath, ignoramus and/or corrupt. Only a very small percentage of Congressmen are just pedophiles.

Question: Are all Congressmen likely to be adulterers?
Answer: No. Some are not married.

Question: How can you tell if a Congressman takes bribes?
Answer: He was successfully elected to office.

Question: How can you tell if a Congressman really believes in re-incarnation and the rest of the Bible?
Answer: He probably doesn’t, but he definitely believes in re-election.

Question: Is there really such a thing as “Intelligent Design?”
Answer: Probably not. If there was, would the Creator have consciously given us our typical Congressmen or designed the President the way he is?

Question: Then, is there any evidence that can tend to disprove the theory of higher evolution?
Answer: Congressmen.

Question: Does a Congressman lose his concern for the common man?
Answer: Of course not. He never had any such concern to begin with.

Question: Why don’t Congressmen support increasing the minimum wage?
Answer: They do. They have raised their own minimum wages every session.

Question: Do Congressmen support preservation efforts?
Answer: Self preservation has always been number one of their agenda.

Question: How can you tell what a Congressman’s bill is about.
Answer: Simple. Read the title and then look up what the antonyms to the words are.

Question: Does a Congressman ever vote for something that might truly be in the national interest.
Answer: Of course - if the national interest happens to coincide with his personal interest.

Question: Do all Congressmen want to run for the Presidency?
Answer: No, apparently only the least intelligent ones insist they are good enough for that position.

Question: Is there anything less intelligent than those currently wanting to be President or Congressmen?
Answer: The voters who elect them.

Question: Will Congress ever change?
Answer: Probably. It can always get worse.