“WE NEED TO FLIP FLOP ON FLIP FLOPPING”

Or, Why Are We Such Doctrinaire Idiots About Changing Positions?

What is with the remarkable obsession everyone, particularly political junkies and punky pundits, seems to have regarding altering political positions or "flip flopping" as it is derogatorily known in the popular parlance? The question should not be whether a politician has changed position, but what exactly is his or her new position and why did he or she change.

It is not as if Moses brought down our political positions carved on stone tablets. We were not born with political positions. They evolve over time for almost everyone, normally slowly, albeit occasionally fast as when wars and personal frights warp judgments sometimes overnight. Normally, such evolution and change is a good thing (so long as it is not hormonal or adrenalin driven). Change usually demonstrates the person is a mentally healthy, intelligent adult, one showing the ability to adapt to new evidence and information as it is revealed.

In fact, never changing positions is the mark of either a liar or someone likely anal retentive, mentally deficient and unable to properly evaluate changing circumstances. By the same token, constantly changing positions from day to day suggests a frightened individual, incapable of making a decision even when needed, an equally scary person to put in office. Both are symptoms of mental illness of one degree or another, certainly not someone to elect.

But, considered change based upon carefully considered information to the extent then available is not automatically to be condemned. That is the essence of the Scientific Method that has served us so well most of the time.

Of course, if the person cravenly changed positions just to curry favor with a particular group of voters, that demonstrates someone not to be trusted. That is the moral equivalent of lying to everyone.

Consequently, suppose a candidate has proclaimed in the past that, say, the leader of a specific religious group is a biased lunatic who spouts hatred against others. Yet now, the same candidate embraces the same religious leader. Is there anything to support the theory that such hatred is no longer being broadcast by that religious leader? If so, good for everyone and the “flip flop” is a good thing. We should reward conversions when someone comes to their senses. Conversely however, if there is nothing to suggest the religious leader is doing anything different to merit the embrace, then the switch by the politician is suspicious and deserves condemnation. Not for the fact he flipped, but for his purpose in doing so.

We need the full facts, something the media steadfastly fails to deliver with the 30 second sound bites that pass for reporting “news” these days. We need more than just the fact that a supposed “flip flop” has occurred. What and why are more important.

For instance, I, for one, am willing to change my disgusted and low opinion about most so-called “journalists.” If only they would give me a reason. Please give me a reason. They can start with stop reporting so-called flip flops unless they give more information to go with it.

“OBAMA RAMA”

Or, Plebeian Pennsylvanians Proudly Pontificate

There’s one thing we Pennsylvania voters will never vote for – an uppity,...I mean, elitist nigger,... uh I mean, uh, person who’s colored. We certainly don’t like someone who’s smarter than we are, ...I mean, who seems smarter than we are.... I mean who ACTS smarter than we are.

Besides, his name sounds like he’s a raghead Muslim and we’d rather vote for someone with a purer, more wholesome sounding,‘Merican name like “John.” Now there’s a name that says class. Nothing smelly about it. Who wouldn’t be proud to be known as a John?

And, what’s with sticking with the same wife all those years? That not like the rest of us. It just proves Obama is really stupid. Doesn’t his family value the riches it can bring when you trade up for a perky cheerleader with hooters who happens to be wealthy. Wealth is what makes this country great. I might own a share of oil company stock some year or win the lottery and I bet he’d tax me on that.

There is one thing in his favor. We don’t really mind he can’t bowl. Naturally, we’ll make fun of how much he looks like a duffus, but we’re secretly relieved. After all, we got enough of his kind invading our sports, like golf. Course, I haven’t ever played golf myself. But, they already took away what used to be our sports like basketball and football. People with heavy tans look out of place in a windowless bowling alley. Let him stay with his own kind and leave us a few sports to play at besides just shootin deer mano a mano with high powered scopes and beer.

Speakin a shootin, he’s not a combat vet like John McCain or George W. Bush who braved bullets in war. Of course, if Osama O’Bama comes round here, we might give him that chance. To brave bullets that is. Heh, heh, heh. Target practice as our Southern cousins say.

Yeah, for sure he’s no patriot like our current Prez. Where’s Obama’a ‘Merican flag lapel pin made in China? Where’s his stars and stripes boxer underwear? He’s probably got the traitorous Dixie Chicks on his ipod and not a single Hank Williams. He doesn’t even want to torture insurgents to save America. Damn hippie commie.

And, look at all those people that gave him money and that crazy minister of his. They probably think that Obama will owe them something when he gets in the White House. You’d never catch “our” people sucking up to crazy religious leaders or lobbyists just to get votes. We don’t tolerate flip-floppers.

On top of that, can you imagine what it would be like to have a black in the Oval Office doing something besides cleaning it? All those black and brown countries around the world might think they don’t need to be afraid of us anymore. Where would we be then? We might have to say “please.” Washington and Jefferson would turn over in their graves. They gave us a Constitution that put people who are colored in their place and that place wasn’t with their finger on the red button at three a.m.

In any event, we need jobs. We can’t expect Obama to get us any. Who’s going to listen to a skinny black man who is not a multigazillionaire? No, we need instead experienced rich folks like the Clintons or McCain to get our lost jobs back. Now McCain and even the Clintons too, they got experience up the wazu. They got track records going back years and years and years in the White House and Congress already. Just because the same record says that the NAFTA and CRAPTA they gave us sent the jobs to Asia, doesn’t mean they’ll keep doing that. They musta learned how to do better by now. So, we need to give experience another chance to do it again. Let’s hear it for the Hillary or the John.

Bitter? Me bitter? Obama makes me bitter. He ain’t so smart though that we can’t teach him his high falutin dreams talkin bout working out our problems together is nothing but a bunch of crap.

So, ....God damn Obam.