Or, a Comparison of Molly Ivins and George Bush

The Wit

The Halfwit

Sexy Female

Former college Cheerleader

Genuine Texan (i.e. one who wear boots on which the only sh*t is found on the outside)

Erzatz Texan who likes to play dress up with cowboy hat and boot costumes

Spoke Texan whirling words like a whip

Flunked English and can’t even speak Texan

Drank with the Boys

Former drunk

Compassionate Liberal

Not even a real Conservative

Believed in the Golden Rule

Took gold in exchange for getting to rule

Proved that we ought to be eternally embarrassed for voting for most politicians

An eternal embarrassment

Brilliant humorist

Punch line of jokes

Made reading fun

Has trouble reading from a children’s book

Essence of wicked wisdom

As Molly said, “doesn’t have the wisdom God gave a duck” but indulges in wickedness

Knew how to curse

Deserved to be cursed

Proved not every Texan is a cartoon

World’s greatest inspiration for cartoons

The very definition of a true Patriot (the kind the Founding Fathers and Mothers were in 1176)

Puzzled as to what actual patriotism means

Not afraid of either combat or the press

Hides out from even questions and only knows about combat from sending others to die

Says what she means and means what she says

We only need to remember how his bills are titled and what they are really designed to accomplish

Disarms even enemies

Recruits and arms future enemies

Big hearted and friendly of all

Fair weather friend (just ask Scooter Libby)

Honest about politics

Dishonest politician

Insights so sharp they could cut saddle leather

Can’t tell an armadillo from his a**hole

Proves investigative journalism is never dull


Always known for taking on “bidnez”

Always lost money for his businesses

Should have been President

Stole the Presidency

National Treasure

Robs the National Treasury

Akin to a Suarro Cactus

Barely a shrub

Was a hero to the end

Played one on TV

Sadly deceased in her early 60's

Sadly still Prez in his early 60's

Mourned by one and all

What would Molly say?

Who will hold the mirror up to the naked Emperor now?

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