The following are December 2006 “Quick Quips” with the newest ones on top:
RESPONSE TO BUSH’S EULOGY OF FORD
In Bush’s radio address upon the death of Gerald Ford, he had the audacity to quote former president Ford’s famous declaration that “our long nightmare is over.” How ironic. Don’t we wish. Unfortunately, we still have two more years of the current president haunting our days and our dreams.
RESPONSE TO PLAN TO INCREASE THE CONGRESSIONAL WORKWEEK
Proposals have been circulating recently to increase the work week for Congressmen forcing them to actually spend more time in D.C. In light of the product quality Congress has been producing for so long, shouldn’t we really be seeking the exact opposite? Wouldn’t encouraging our elected officials to spend less time with K Street lobbyists, the Main Stream Media Corp, fawning bureaucrats and entrenched party leaders be more likely to generate better results? Hasn’t it occurred to anyone else that our Founding Fathers primary genius may have been to make it extraordinarily difficult to pass laws. Frankly, I’d prefer it be even harder. No proposal should become law unless it achieves a two-thirds or greater majority vote. That would necessitate consensus, conciliation, cooperation and compromise, generally good things. After all, if you can’t persuade at least two out of three people something is worthwhile, why should it be enacted?
RESPONSE TO CONSERVATIVE RADIO PERSONALITY MIKE GALLAGHER WHO APPEARED ON FOX NEWS ON TUESDAY TO VENT HIS ANGER AT “THE VIEW” HOST JOY BEHAR FOR COMPARING DONALD RUMSFELD TO HITLER. WITHOUT A SHRED OF IRONY, GALLAGHER THEN CALLED FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO ROUND UP BEHAR, MATT DAMON AND KEITH OLBERMANN AND “TAKE THE WHOLE BUNCH OF THEM AND PUT THEM IN A DETENTION CAMP UNTIL THIS WAR IS OVER, BECAUSE THEY’RE A BUNCH OF TRAITORS.”
Since the Democrats are now going to be the leaders in Congress, does that mean that Mike Gallagher will feel constrained against smearing them from now on? I also wonder if we check the record whether we will find he smeared Clinton while he occupied the White House.
RESPONSE TO A HUMOROUS SUGGESTION BY SCOTT ADAMS THAT THE AL-QAEDA ARE FAKE AND MADE AT THE AL-JAZEERA STUDIOS FOR RATINGS PURPOSES
I’m not sure I agree. I suspect neither al-Zawahri nor his boss, Osama bin Laden, is hiding in a cubicle as you speculate at the Al-Jazeera broadcast offices. The evidence strongly suggests instead that they are really working as high level officials in the West Wing of the White House.
Think about it. Could al-Qaeda possibly have done worse damage to the US economy, treasury, military, alliances, morale or its future than if Osama himself had been installed as President in 2000 instead of Bush, Jr.? At least if Osama openly occupied the Oval Office, we might have reacted somewhat more suspiciously to many of the stupidities there were being proposed there over the last 6 years.
Hiding on the White House grounds is probably also the reason that Osama has never been found. Our Keystone Kops in Washington seem to have trouble finding their mouths with a fork full of food. The Peter Principle on steroids operates there.
As Paul Campos wrote for the Rocky Mountain News yesterday, “. . . [I]n 18th century England mistakes made in the heat of battle could result in the most savage punishment. In America today, we are beset by the opposite problem: an incompetence so grotesque that it is as a practical matter difficult to distinguish from treason. . . .” Frankly, must of what the Prez has been doing looks like treason especially if you consider the results rather than the rhetoric.
Besides, even if Bush or his boys had been competent enough to find Osama, they wouldn’t have done so since Osama’s continued freedom and the fear it helped generate was key to Bush’s re-election.
So, my bet is the beards and turbans in all those videos of al-Qaeda leaders are really just fake, props like the AK-47s. The rest of the time they wear Brooks Brothers suits and wingtips as they devise new atrocities for Bush to approve.
RESPONSE TO LOCAL MUNICIPALITIES REFUSAL TO CONSIDER WIND POWER TO PREVENT FUTURE EXPENSIVE POWER OUTAGES
Power poop out prolonged and punishing? Perfectly predictable! Provably preventable! Winter Wind + Whirling Windmills = Plentiful Power. So, promptly protest. Or, perhaps pummel some politicians. Please proceed. And, promptly.
RESPONSE TO A HUMOROUS SUGGESTION BY SCOTT ADAMS THAT STUPID PEOPLE CANNOT ORGANIZE.
Nonsense. How can you possibly contend stupid people can't organize? Shoot, they do so all the time and in quite large organizations. Two of the largest are the Republican and Democratic Parties.
Moreover, they manage to select the stupidist possible individuals within their organizations to represent them, hence the current leadership ensconced in Washington, D.C. Granted, their respective organizations are remarkably ineffective at doing anything actually worthwhile, but they do manage to organize.
In fact, pick any random collection of capital letters (NRA, KKK, FCC, CIA, etc.) and I am confident you will have named the acronym for an organization of supremely stupid people competing for the title of world's most you know what.
RESPONSE TO CONTINUING ATTACKS OF REPUBLICANS ON THE UN
The Republicans are still loudly trying to punish the UN for corruption involving Iraqi oil. Guess Halliburton et al either want to divert attention from its own Iraqi oil corruption or they want to cut down the competition for the corruption.
DON’T IMPEACH THE PRESIDENT - SUE HIM
Forget impeaching the President for lying. Sue him and his co-conspirators for malpractice. Almost every news report shows the economy, employment and the deficit are swelling to epic proportions. Such incompetence combined with insider conflicts of interest equal a legal cause of action. Best of all, given how much they got rich at our expense, they can afford to pay the damage award. So, join a middle class - Class Action. Whether the case makes it through the Republican Supreme Court or not, it would still put the defendants under oath subject to cross examination. No lying, propaganda or weasel words allowed. That would be worth it all by itself.
THERE ARE LIES AND THEN THERE ARE DAMN LIES
Looks like Clinton may have lied about having sex, but Bush seems to lie about everything. Can’t we expect better of those in office? Can’t we ever convince them not to do it by firing some of them once in awhile?
RESPONSE TO COMMENT BY SCOTT ADAMS REGARDING HOW “FRACK” HAD BECOME A CURSE WORD.
Excellent point. There seems to be an even worse problem regarding cursing however. Have you noticed that in the past couple of decades, particularly on the national political scene, the words "compromise," "conciliation," "consensus," and "compromise" have all become curse words. Of course, "liberal" and "conservative" have long been curse words, at least for those respective components of our population. But, when did the very common sense concept of searching for things we can agree upon become construed as contemptible?
[more irreverence at http://resistence-is-possible.blogspot.com]